11 Bible Verses That Describe Abusers

Bible Verses That Describe Abusers & How to Handle Them

11 Bible Verses About Abusers

1. They prey upon the naive: "...Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery, they deceive the minds of naive people." -Romans 16:18.

   
   

2. They find pleasure in harming others: "Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evildoers. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way. For they cannot rest until they do evil; they are robbed of sleep till they make someone stumble. They eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence." - Proverbs 4:14-17.

   
   

3. They are too conceited to recognize or hate their own sin: "In their own eyes, they flatter themselves too much to detect or hate their own sin. The words of their mouths are wicked and deceitful; they fail to act wisely or do good. Even on their beds they plot evil; they commit themselves to a sinful course and do not reject what is wrong." - Psalm 36:2-4.

   
   

4. They do not fear God: "I have a message from God in my heart concerning the sinfulness of the wicked: There is no fear of God before their eyes." - Psalm 36:1.

   
   

5. They disguise their true character and hatred with charm: "Though their speech is charming, do not believe them, for seven abominations fill their hearts. Their malice may be concealed by deception, but their wickedness will be exposed in the assembly. - Proverbs 26:25-26.

   
   

6. They manipulate you with flattery: "Those who flatter their neighbors are spreading nets for their feet." - Proverbs 29:5.

   
   

7. Their words cut like knives. They use them to tear people apart: "...those whose teeth are swords and whose jaws are set with knives to devour the poor from the earth and the needy from among mankind." - Proverbs 30:14.

   
   

8. They attack your character when confronted. They abuse you: "Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults; whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse." - Proverbs 9:7.

   
   

9. Oftentimes, they do not change: "Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death. They not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them." - Romans 1:32.

   
   

10. They will actually get worse: "...while evildoers and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived." - 2 Timothy 3:12-13.

    
    

11. They have depraved minds and are filled with every kind of wickedness: "Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed, and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant, and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy." - Romans 1:28-31.

Jesus spoke about such people. He said, "...They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them."

- Matthew 7:15-16.

{See Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-26) Here, and Acts of the Flesh (Galatians 5:19-21) Here}

So, what can you do?

Well, I think the word of God says it all. We are to have NOTHING to do with people who are abusive and who do not love the Lord our God in Christ Jesus.

But what if they are our spouses in marriage or close family members, such as a parent or an adult child? Perhaps you work with one, or have a boss who is one?

Let's see what the Word of God says:

Bible Verses on How to Handle Abusive & Toxic People

1. Do not try to fix them. You are not their Holy Spirit. Your job is to reflect truth, not force change. Maturity is their responsibility. The Word of God tells us: "Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you." -Proverbs 9:8 

   
   

2. Don't stay entangled with them or desire their company. Scripture tells us: "Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character."

   
   

3. Respond, don't react. You must control your emotions. They will use it against you. The fruit of the Spirit includes self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Stick to the facts, say your peace, and move on.

   
   

4. Don't take the bait. When they try to argue with you or get some kind of reaction from you, remember to stay calm, kind, and grounded. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." - Proverbs 15:1. In addition, "Don't have anything to do with stupid and foolish arguments, because you know that they produce quarrels, and the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful, opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will." - 2 Timothy 2:23-26. This does not mean that we are to be a "doormat" for people, but that we are not to engage ourselves with, or be a part of, their wicked and ungodly behavior. Remember, they want to control you and cause you to sin against God. Don't let them, and don't become what they are.

    

5. Set clear boundaries: Even Jesus walked away when people were toxic or unrepentant. Love does not mean unlimited access. Boundaries are biblical and necessary. Setting healthy boundaries is not about controlling them; it is about protecting your peace. "Turn from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it." - Psalm 34:14.  Also, "Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord." - Hebrews 12:14.

    

6. You must create distance. The Bible says to have nothing to do with people who continually hurt you (2 Timothy 3:1-5). Staying with an abusive person is not a strength; it's a sacrifice without purpose. Even if married, you can find ways to create distance. The word of God also tells us to seek refuge:  "The prudent (wise) see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty." - Proverbs 22:3. If you are married, you must pray to God for direction, strength, and guidance, because He will protect you if you put your faith and full trust in Him: "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1. You can love a toxic parent, relative, or adult child from a distance.

    

7. Don't trust their "kindness". "Enemies disguise themselves with their lips, but in their hearts they harbor deceit. Though their speech is charming, do not believe them, for seven abominations fill their hearts." - Proverbs 26:24-25.

   
   

8. Respond with silence: Your silence is your strength!  Suffer and cry out to the Lord in SILENCE; "...in quietness and trust is your STRENGTH." - Isaiah 30:15.

   
   

9. Forgive them. Forgiveness is how you move forward. "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32.

   
   

10. Pray more than you preach & do not curse them. "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..." - Matthew 5:44. And, "Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse." -Romans 12:14. Remember, God knows what they need more than you do.

    
    

11. Speak truth in love:  We grow and become more Christlike when we speak truth in love: "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him who is the head, that is, Christ." - Ephesians 4:15. 

    
    

12. And, lastly, guard your heart. "Above all, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." - Proverbs 4:23. They will use your love and kindness against you, so be careful and guard your heart! Don't allow someone else to poison your peace and cause you to stumble.

Dealing with emotionally immature and toxic people is not easy. It is important to focus on healing, practice self-love, and stay busy using your hands (1 Thessalonians 4:11-12),

Remember, God sent us here with a purpose, and we are not dealing with flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12), but with evil entities sent to distract and destroy us. This is spiritual warfare, and we are on the battlefield for our Lord! So we must put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:13-16) and pray to Him for His protection and guidance. God is faithful, and He will do it because He loves us: "Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." - Lamentations 3:22-23.

Additional Bible Verses on God's Holy Protection

1. "The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and bring me safely to His Heavenly Kingdom. To Him be glory forever and ever. Amen." (2 Timothy 4:18)

   
   

2. "The Lord will keep you from all harm - He will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." (Psalm 121:7-8)

   
   

3. "So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)

   
   

4. "But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one." (2 Thessalonians 3:3)

   
   

5. "God will command His angels to protect you wherever you go." (Psalm 91:11)

   
   

6. "In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety." (Psalm 4:8)

   
   

7. "Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." (Psalm 91:1-2)

   
   

8. "The Lord in my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 27:1)

   
   

9. "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." (Psalm 46:1)

   
   

10. "The name of the Lord is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe." (Proverbs 18:10)

    
    

11. "The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him." (Nahum 1:7)

    
    

12. "'No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me,' declares the Lord.'" (Isaiah 54:17)

    
    

13. "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."  (Isaiah 43:2-3)

    
    

14. "Submit yourselves then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God, and He will come near to you." (James 4:7-8)

    
    

15. "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

Summing it all up & closing statements

1. Keep communication short and simple when dealing with a toxic and emotionally immature person. Avoid over-explaining and don't expect to have deep conversations with them. This will oftentimes trigger their fragile egos and offend them. Focus on the facts (truth) and control your emotions. As Jesus has said, "The truth will set you free!" (John 8:32).

   
   

2. Set clear boundaries.  Just because someone has a child-like maturity doesn't mean you should lower your standards, so be clear and firm about which behavior you will and will not accept. Remember, you teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce. Never accept less than you deserve.

   
   

3. Manage your expectations.  Don't take it personally. It's their limitations, not yours. These people were traumatized and abused at a young age. Don't feel sorry for them, but have compassion and pray for them. Learn to love the person trapped within and pray that God will deliver them from the evil one.

   
   

4. Focus on healing & staying busy. You must take care of yourself and stay busy; try a new hobby such as gardening, sewing, fishing, needlepoint, pottery, or start an online business. Remember, "the devil will find use for idle hands" (Proverbs 16:27 TLB). In addition, Jesus taught that self-love is not only necessary but mandatory. It is a prerequisite to loving others and also one of the greatest commandments: "Love your neighbor as yourself...." - Matthew 22:37-40. As you can see, before we can properly love someone else, we must learn to love and see ourselves in the way God and Jesus Christ love and see us.

   
   

5. Trust in God and pray to Him about everything in Christ Jesus: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6.  

To read the extended and full version of this post, please click HERE.

Author’s Bio

Isabella Boston is a wordsmith and the creator of Bella’s Attic Studio®: A multi-media writing platform and storytelling blog specializing in copywriting, marketing, and content writing.

She is well-versed in medical terminology and scientific research with a focus on neuroscience, immunology, and functional health. She is also a diarist, creative nonfiction writer, and self-published author.

Aside from being a writer, Isabella is a book & vintage-fashion lover, a language enthusiast, and, most importantly, a woman of God in Christ Jesus.

"Together we can share your stories, promote your cause, and connect you to your target audience one word at a time."